Saturday, November 19, 2011
my Q's are fixed
hey everybody, this guy Joe fixed my Q button. Look qqqqqq. Little q's. For like 3 years, my computer had a broken q button, and I could only do capital Q's. those days are over now. Bask in the glory of my unlimited lower case q's.
love,
alex
love,
alex
Friday, November 11, 2011
Colorado
I'm not even going to begin to talk about how long it's been since I wrote anything or what I was doing. To quote Jacob Stewart, "It is unknown and unlawful." Yeah, I'm in Colorado. This place is hard to figure out. There are like at least 3 genres of Colorado dudes. I have only fully come to grips with 2 thus far:
1. There is the native Colorado dude. This guy is a total freak. He grew up in the wilderness. His parents grew weed in the 60's. OR, he is like a rancher who is NOT cool with hippies and drives a pick-up truck and hates the Government. He has A LOT OF GUNS. Notice the wild look in his eye.
2. The transplant. This guy is like this:
He is from like Wisconsin or something. If you ask this guy where he is from, his placid face will contort into a mask of pain and fright. He will say, "I've been here for a really long time." You will notice that this isn't what you asked him. You will pause, studying his face; he is being defiant. "Yeah but like where did you live before that?" You have broken a social contract. "I've been here for 20 years," he will say. Maybe give up now.
As far as I can tell there is a state-run contest to be the most legit Colorado local possible, and whoever was here first wins like a pair of North Face hiking pants? It's very strange.
It reminds me of what I've always assumed Alaska is like. I've never been to Alaska, but I lived in Seattle which is like the hologram of Alaska. (Don't think about this analogy too strenuously) Anyway, I've always sensed that Alaska is FULL of people who are running away from something in the "Lower 48." I'm guessing most of them robbed Brink's Trucks in 1977, and are now on the lam, living under false names like "Bruce." I get the same vibe from dudes I meet here. They are reluctant to talk about the past, seem slightly damaged and spooky, and are weirdly single for their age. Maybe they murdered their wives? In Iowa?
Now, these dudes have certain physical characteristics... They are oddly young-looking for their age, which is invariably 41. They are perfect genetically modified hybrids of a 25 year old and a 45 year old. They have messy, short hair with a tasteful amount of gray. They wear outdoorsy corduroy pants with some sort of fleece whose brand name I haven't yet come to terms with. Goddam right he's wearing Oakley's with that thing that keeps them attached to his head:
This man surprisingly has no beard, but wears a baseball cap from time to time. He has 3 tattoos. One is tribal, one is a compass, and one is a bird. He killed his wife!!!!!
I watched a lot of movies, but I only have the energy to talk about one right now, ok?
Attack the Block --- Man, you are thinking I hated this movie. It's about South London gangster kids who have to defeat alien invaders. You're wrong! It was charming. I'm becoming soft.
1. There is the native Colorado dude. This guy is a total freak. He grew up in the wilderness. His parents grew weed in the 60's. OR, he is like a rancher who is NOT cool with hippies and drives a pick-up truck and hates the Government. He has A LOT OF GUNS. Notice the wild look in his eye.
2. The transplant. This guy is like this:
He is from like Wisconsin or something. If you ask this guy where he is from, his placid face will contort into a mask of pain and fright. He will say, "I've been here for a really long time." You will notice that this isn't what you asked him. You will pause, studying his face; he is being defiant. "Yeah but like where did you live before that?" You have broken a social contract. "I've been here for 20 years," he will say. Maybe give up now.
As far as I can tell there is a state-run contest to be the most legit Colorado local possible, and whoever was here first wins like a pair of North Face hiking pants? It's very strange.
It reminds me of what I've always assumed Alaska is like. I've never been to Alaska, but I lived in Seattle which is like the hologram of Alaska. (Don't think about this analogy too strenuously) Anyway, I've always sensed that Alaska is FULL of people who are running away from something in the "Lower 48." I'm guessing most of them robbed Brink's Trucks in 1977, and are now on the lam, living under false names like "Bruce." I get the same vibe from dudes I meet here. They are reluctant to talk about the past, seem slightly damaged and spooky, and are weirdly single for their age. Maybe they murdered their wives? In Iowa?
Now, these dudes have certain physical characteristics... They are oddly young-looking for their age, which is invariably 41. They are perfect genetically modified hybrids of a 25 year old and a 45 year old. They have messy, short hair with a tasteful amount of gray. They wear outdoorsy corduroy pants with some sort of fleece whose brand name I haven't yet come to terms with. Goddam right he's wearing Oakley's with that thing that keeps them attached to his head:
This man surprisingly has no beard, but wears a baseball cap from time to time. He has 3 tattoos. One is tribal, one is a compass, and one is a bird. He killed his wife!!!!!
I watched a lot of movies, but I only have the energy to talk about one right now, ok?
Attack the Block --- Man, you are thinking I hated this movie. It's about South London gangster kids who have to defeat alien invaders. You're wrong! It was charming. I'm becoming soft.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Cool White
"This one's for Allah, and it's going way out there, suckaaa."
----- Ahmad from The Bad News Bears (1976, duh)
This is a special edition of The Spacemovie. This will be devoted to one man. A man named Cool White. This is a shout out bl-g and a profile of the man who is also a guy who is also a dude we know with a name...
and that name is Nathan "Cool White" Miller. The man Cool White is a man that I know, and ostensibly his name derives from some light bulb or something, but we all know the real meaning is more esoteric, more in tune with a higher language not known by men of this World. To name is to describe the essential nature and aesthetic soul of the thing. In fact, when one is near Cool White, one automatically becomes, by comparison, an Uncool shadow of themselves. They become a character named Uncool White (or Uncool Black, or Uncool Hindu, or whatever your particular race happens to be. For instance, I become Uncool Jew.)
Here, I will show you proof.
Look what happened to my cup! I was casually drinking some water with Cool White, and suddenly it was all made very clear. Our cups were labeled for us by an unseen influence. Do you know who you are? I certainly know who I am now. I am UNCOOL. These words were not written by human hands, I assure you. These are the words of a higher Agency, the tenets of a higher Law. These are the dictates of The Ein Sof, the אין סוף, the Limitless One, the Unmoved Mover, the ού κινούμενον κινεῖ, and those are Judgements which cannot be challenged. Not even by Sonia Sotamayor.
Two Weeks Notice - I'm a sucker for Hugh Grant. I admit it. He's fucking charming, ok? He's like the posh, English Woody Allen. Think about it. This movie is exactly OK.
Bad News Bears (1976) - This movie rules the fucking school. First of all, I'll pretty much watch anything with Walter Matthau in it. This movie is one of the only things on the face of the Earth that could be considered "heart-warming" that I don't hate with all of my being. I'm not into anything where it says "inspiring" on the box. So it is a testament to this movie's amzingness that I find it not only heart-warming, but also "cute," and I don't to barf on it. I actually love it. It's hilarious and Burt Lancaster's son wrote it.
----- Ahmad from The Bad News Bears (1976, duh)
This is a special edition of The Spacemovie. This will be devoted to one man. A man named Cool White. This is a shout out bl-g and a profile of the man who is also a guy who is also a dude we know with a name...
and that name is Nathan "Cool White" Miller. The man Cool White is a man that I know, and ostensibly his name derives from some light bulb or something, but we all know the real meaning is more esoteric, more in tune with a higher language not known by men of this World. To name is to describe the essential nature and aesthetic soul of the thing. In fact, when one is near Cool White, one automatically becomes, by comparison, an Uncool shadow of themselves. They become a character named Uncool White (or Uncool Black, or Uncool Hindu, or whatever your particular race happens to be. For instance, I become Uncool Jew.)
Here, I will show you proof.
Look what happened to my cup! I was casually drinking some water with Cool White, and suddenly it was all made very clear. Our cups were labeled for us by an unseen influence. Do you know who you are? I certainly know who I am now. I am UNCOOL. These words were not written by human hands, I assure you. These are the words of a higher Agency, the tenets of a higher Law. These are the dictates of The Ein Sof, the אין סוף, the Limitless One, the Unmoved Mover, the ού κινούμενον κινεῖ, and those are Judgements which cannot be challenged. Not even by Sonia Sotamayor.Two Weeks Notice - I'm a sucker for Hugh Grant. I admit it. He's fucking charming, ok? He's like the posh, English Woody Allen. Think about it. This movie is exactly OK.
Bad News Bears (1976) - This movie rules the fucking school. First of all, I'll pretty much watch anything with Walter Matthau in it. This movie is one of the only things on the face of the Earth that could be considered "heart-warming" that I don't hate with all of my being. I'm not into anything where it says "inspiring" on the box. So it is a testament to this movie's amzingness that I find it not only heart-warming, but also "cute," and I don't to barf on it. I actually love it. It's hilarious and Burt Lancaster's son wrote it.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
All Cats are Gray - Comeback Tour 2010
I was busy moving back and forth across the country compulsively, and I haven't written anything in many, many months. I'm sorry bl-g g-ds. Well, now I am feeling pretty settled here in Seattle, and I intend to renew the horrible experiment called The Spacemovie. Mainly because all of my fans are clamoring for it so intensely, and I can't sleep with them banging on my windows... So, on the count of 3.
1...2.....
"When all candles be out, all cats be gray" ---John Heywood
"All cats are grey in the dark" --- Benjamin Franklin
"In the caves all cats are grey" --- Robert Smith
All Cats are Gray is the best song by the cure. I decided to do some internet research to try to figure out what the title means... The Quote is attributed to Benjamin Franklin, and it is supposedly his explanation of why you should "take an older woman to bed." Well, some other guy said it before he did supposedly... Either way, a couple hundred years later, the Cure had a song called "All Cats are Grey," and it's their best song ever. My friend Dana told me in 1996 that this was her favorite Cure song of all time, and I kept meaning to listen to it for roughly ten years. I kept putting it off until a few months ago, when I finally got around to it, and I'll be damned if she wasn't right. It's their best song dooooood.
Here is an appropriately maudlin video with the song:
I saw many movies. Here's a few:
Paris is Burning
High Noon
The Hands of Orlac
Lizard in a Woman's Skin
Phase IV
The Terror
Some were good, I really can't review them all. Get off my back.
1...2.....
"When all candles be out, all cats be gray" ---John Heywood
"All cats are grey in the dark" --- Benjamin Franklin
"In the caves all cats are grey" --- Robert Smith
All Cats are Gray is the best song by the cure. I decided to do some internet research to try to figure out what the title means... The Quote is attributed to Benjamin Franklin, and it is supposedly his explanation of why you should "take an older woman to bed." Well, some other guy said it before he did supposedly... Either way, a couple hundred years later, the Cure had a song called "All Cats are Grey," and it's their best song ever. My friend Dana told me in 1996 that this was her favorite Cure song of all time, and I kept meaning to listen to it for roughly ten years. I kept putting it off until a few months ago, when I finally got around to it, and I'll be damned if she wasn't right. It's their best song dooooood.
Here is an appropriately maudlin video with the song:
I saw many movies. Here's a few:
Paris is Burning
High Noon
The Hands of Orlac
Lizard in a Woman's Skin
Phase IV
The Terror
Some were good, I really can't review them all. Get off my back.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Pizza is...... OK
"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn - which translates to: "In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming."
--- HP Lovecraft
Today I was eating a salad, and I found this suspicious looking thing in it. It looked like a hair at first, but upon further inspection, I realized with growing alarm that it might be an antenna. It looks like a tube sort of with brown rings around it. I can't keep eating my salad until I know what's going on with this thing. It could be some sort of plant matter I guess. I am trying to ask the internet what an antenna is made of, but it's sort of not telling me what I want to know. The thing is, eating bugs is the worst thing that you can ever do in your whole life, and you have to avoid it all cost.
Sort of related is that I heard the most insane thing on BBC radio thing last night. They were talking about drone planes and the research the dot.gov is doing on robotic soldiers. They're trying to create robots who could go out and kill people for us. The best part of this is that they are working on one that uses organic fuel to sustain itself.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 : Secret of the Ooze ---
So good. So good. I was thinking... those turtles sure do love pizza. what's the deal with pizza? (seinfeld voice) Like how did pizza win out as the official food of partying? Liking pizza a lot is really what makes them "TEENAGE." Then Vanilla Ice was in the movie, and I was trying to figure out how we ever accepted him as a valid person in the 90's. What were we doing?
--- HP Lovecraft
Today I was eating a salad, and I found this suspicious looking thing in it. It looked like a hair at first, but upon further inspection, I realized with growing alarm that it might be an antenna. It looks like a tube sort of with brown rings around it. I can't keep eating my salad until I know what's going on with this thing. It could be some sort of plant matter I guess. I am trying to ask the internet what an antenna is made of, but it's sort of not telling me what I want to know. The thing is, eating bugs is the worst thing that you can ever do in your whole life, and you have to avoid it all cost.
Sort of related is that I heard the most insane thing on BBC radio thing last night. They were talking about drone planes and the research the dot.gov is doing on robotic soldiers. They're trying to create robots who could go out and kill people for us. The best part of this is that they are working on one that uses organic fuel to sustain itself.
"It can refuel itself on long journeys by scavenging for organic material - which raises the haunting spectre of a machine consuming corpses on the battlefield.
Its inventor, Dr Robert Finkelstein of Robotic Technology Inc, insists it will consume "organic material but mostly vegetarian."
Do scientists just sit around watching the scariest sci-fi movies they can find and then turn in book reports on them? That's how they get their ideas? I really hope they make a bunch of man-eating robots and they (obviously) will go berserk and try to take over the world.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 : Secret of the Ooze ---
So good. So good. I was thinking... those turtles sure do love pizza. what's the deal with pizza? (seinfeld voice) Like how did pizza win out as the official food of partying? Liking pizza a lot is really what makes them "TEENAGE." Then Vanilla Ice was in the movie, and I was trying to figure out how we ever accepted him as a valid person in the 90's. What were we doing?
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
I am just a mirror.
"So it's basically like the same thing as Sanka?"
--- Alex Daboub moments before his death
I went into Starbucks today and they had a huge display right next to the register of their new instant coffee that they make. I didn't know about this. Is this a thing? So I was a little surprised and curious about it, and I wanted to ask the Starbucks people about it. What I hadn't realized until today was this: Starbucks employees are essentially in a crazy cult just like Macintosh employees are in a crazy cult. I made some offhand comment about Sanka, and it was just like when Paul Watkins and Brooks Poston left the Manson Family. I got the crazy murder eyes from Charlie behind the counter. Only it was like an uptight homo version of Charlie with health insurance. The cashier guy and also the "barista" guy laid into me with this creepy scripted type response about how Starbucks had come up with a new process and it was nothing like Sanka. They HATE Sanka. Don't say Sanka up in there. It sort of seemed like I was the 100th person who said it and they were really starting to get sick of it. You might be wondering why I was in Starbucks in the first place? Well, the reason is that in Seattle everything closes at like 6PM (especially in the Winter) and it was the only thing open. And also Starbucks is interesting because it's like an on-going science project where you can witness a bunch of marketing techniques as they are developed in real time. It's like peeping down into a board meeting from outer-space. Even more so in Seattle because this is where Starbucks started, and people are incredibly reverential about coffee here. Maybe Sanka's really good? Ok, bye.
Also, I just found this article, which explains everything.
Lady in a Cage --- This movie stressed me out so much but maybe it's because I watched it directly after all of this Starbucks shit went down. It's about a lady who gets trapped in her private elevator in her mansion. James Caan and a bunch of other criminals come and ruthlessly fuck with her and it's brutal. There's a lot of good melodramatic acting and cage symbolism. The prison is your mind, man.
Manson: In prison? What prison? You got a prison in your mind? You see what I'm saying? You're in prison, son. You're the one that's in jail because you think there is such a thing as a prison.
--- Alex Daboub moments before his death
I went into Starbucks today and they had a huge display right next to the register of their new instant coffee that they make. I didn't know about this. Is this a thing? So I was a little surprised and curious about it, and I wanted to ask the Starbucks people about it. What I hadn't realized until today was this: Starbucks employees are essentially in a crazy cult just like Macintosh employees are in a crazy cult. I made some offhand comment about Sanka, and it was just like when Paul Watkins and Brooks Poston left the Manson Family. I got the crazy murder eyes from Charlie behind the counter. Only it was like an uptight homo version of Charlie with health insurance. The cashier guy and also the "barista" guy laid into me with this creepy scripted type response about how Starbucks had come up with a new process and it was nothing like Sanka. They HATE Sanka. Don't say Sanka up in there. It sort of seemed like I was the 100th person who said it and they were really starting to get sick of it. You might be wondering why I was in Starbucks in the first place? Well, the reason is that in Seattle everything closes at like 6PM (especially in the Winter) and it was the only thing open. And also Starbucks is interesting because it's like an on-going science project where you can witness a bunch of marketing techniques as they are developed in real time. It's like peeping down into a board meeting from outer-space. Even more so in Seattle because this is where Starbucks started, and people are incredibly reverential about coffee here. Maybe Sanka's really good? Ok, bye.
Also, I just found this article, which explains everything.
Lady in a Cage --- This movie stressed me out so much but maybe it's because I watched it directly after all of this Starbucks shit went down. It's about a lady who gets trapped in her private elevator in her mansion. James Caan and a bunch of other criminals come and ruthlessly fuck with her and it's brutal. There's a lot of good melodramatic acting and cage symbolism. The prison is your mind, man.
Manson: In prison? What prison? You got a prison in your mind? You see what I'm saying? You're in prison, son. You're the one that's in jail because you think there is such a thing as a prison.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
OUISCH
"Part of the plan for escaping during Helter Skelter reQuired the purchase of a very expensive gold rope that cost about three dollars a foot, and Charlie wanted a truck eQuipped with a winch and thousands of feet of this golden rope in order to dangle the Family down into the Hopi Hole during the end of the world." --- Ed Sanders from The Family
I feel like I should have already gone through this phase about 10 years ago, but I am in the middle of an intense Charlie Manson kick. As I read more and more about Charlie and The Family, I am starting to realize that I can't put this off any longer... I have to choose my favorite Manson Girl. After weighing considerable amounts of data, I have decided to go with Ruth Ann "Ouisch" Moorehouse. She has the coolest nickname and she didn't actually stab anyone. Those were my two reQuirements. Oh, and she put LSD in someone's hamburger to keep them from testifying in court. I'm always in favor of preventing testimony.
The Land that Time Forgot --- 1975 movie based on a book by Edgar Rice Burroughs. Lost at sea World War I sailors find a never explored island near the South Pole which still has dinosaurs and cavemen living on it. So good that I'm going to go watch it again right now. Bye.
Ouisch Ouisch
I feel like I should have already gone through this phase about 10 years ago, but I am in the middle of an intense Charlie Manson kick. As I read more and more about Charlie and The Family, I am starting to realize that I can't put this off any longer... I have to choose my favorite Manson Girl. After weighing considerable amounts of data, I have decided to go with Ruth Ann "Ouisch" Moorehouse. She has the coolest nickname and she didn't actually stab anyone. Those were my two reQuirements. Oh, and she put LSD in someone's hamburger to keep them from testifying in court. I'm always in favor of preventing testimony.
The Land that Time Forgot --- 1975 movie based on a book by Edgar Rice Burroughs. Lost at sea World War I sailors find a never explored island near the South Pole which still has dinosaurs and cavemen living on it. So good that I'm going to go watch it again right now. Bye.
Ouisch Ouisch
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Cows, Flags, Run-DMC, Cannon Films
"Whiskey is now tested by the distance a man can walk after tasting it. The new liQuor called Tangle Leg is said to be made of diluted alcohol, nitric acid, pepper, and tobacco, and will upset a man at a distance of 400 yards."
--- Sir Richard Burton, The City of the Saints
I'm working on a movie in Dallas, and like all the movies I've worked on here, we're shooting in an abandoned ranch-house. So there are a lot of cows randomly wandering around while we're shooting and I can't stop looking at them. They have hypnotic powers. I find myself staring into their eyes, and attempting to contemplate their unfathomable souls. I think I understand why the Hindus like them. They are the zen masters of the barnyard.
Before I left Seattle I noticed that there are a lot of crosswalks which have these buckets of orange flags on either side. These are for people to pick up and use to alert cars that they are crossing the street. These Seattle people truly have no shame. Safety first!
There is this stencil-graffiti near my parents' house in Dallas that I have always really liked. I don't even like graffiti; I think it's the gayest poseur shit ever invented for white people to do. However, this one has always appealed to me. Really I just like it so much because I'm amazed that it has been there, undisturbed, for something like 20 years at least. Every time I come to Dallas I go by and make sure they haven't torn down that wall or that some little fuck-face hasn't tagged some scribbly bullshit over it. It is the bedrock of my life, and I'm pretty sure I'll die the day they tear down the wall.
Lifeforce --- I've been trying to watch a lot of the Cannon Group films. They were a production company started by these Israeli Jews named Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus. They were basically responsible for every over-the-top awesome bad action movie of the 70's and 80's, including a movie called Over the Top which is a movie written by Sylvester Stallone about competitive arm-wrestling. Lifeforce is about space-vampires and the first third or so of the movie is a naked lady.
Over The Top --- Rather boring movie considering how excited I was to see it again. ( I saw it in the theater in 1987.) Sly Stallone plays a truck driving competitive arm-wrestler who is trying to reconnect with his son. He has a special arm-wrestling move called OVER THE TOP.
Cobra --- Oh yeah. Stallone wrote this too. I think he has the intellect and interests of an eight year old boy. He gives himself all of these dumb looking weapons and guns that look made up and like something a 15 year old nerd would draw. Dude has to track down a murder-cult(cool.)
Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus
--- Sir Richard Burton, The City of the Saints
I'm working on a movie in Dallas, and like all the movies I've worked on here, we're shooting in an abandoned ranch-house. So there are a lot of cows randomly wandering around while we're shooting and I can't stop looking at them. They have hypnotic powers. I find myself staring into their eyes, and attempting to contemplate their unfathomable souls. I think I understand why the Hindus like them. They are the zen masters of the barnyard.
Before I left Seattle I noticed that there are a lot of crosswalks which have these buckets of orange flags on either side. These are for people to pick up and use to alert cars that they are crossing the street. These Seattle people truly have no shame. Safety first!
There is this stencil-graffiti near my parents' house in Dallas that I have always really liked. I don't even like graffiti; I think it's the gayest poseur shit ever invented for white people to do. However, this one has always appealed to me. Really I just like it so much because I'm amazed that it has been there, undisturbed, for something like 20 years at least. Every time I come to Dallas I go by and make sure they haven't torn down that wall or that some little fuck-face hasn't tagged some scribbly bullshit over it. It is the bedrock of my life, and I'm pretty sure I'll die the day they tear down the wall.
Lifeforce --- I've been trying to watch a lot of the Cannon Group films. They were a production company started by these Israeli Jews named Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus. They were basically responsible for every over-the-top awesome bad action movie of the 70's and 80's, including a movie called Over the Top which is a movie written by Sylvester Stallone about competitive arm-wrestling. Lifeforce is about space-vampires and the first third or so of the movie is a naked lady.
Over The Top --- Rather boring movie considering how excited I was to see it again. ( I saw it in the theater in 1987.) Sly Stallone plays a truck driving competitive arm-wrestler who is trying to reconnect with his son. He has a special arm-wrestling move called OVER THE TOP.
Cobra --- Oh yeah. Stallone wrote this too. I think he has the intellect and interests of an eight year old boy. He gives himself all of these dumb looking weapons and guns that look made up and like something a 15 year old nerd would draw. Dude has to track down a murder-cult(cool.)
Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Cats with Jobs
"All plans between men are tentative."
--- Jerry Seinfeld
I can't avoid talking about this anymore... My favorite thing in the world is when you go to some business and a cat lives there. This usually happens at places like book stores, but in Seattle it seems to happen in all kinds of places. Why is it so good? I think it's because it blurs the line between the worlds of commerce and non-commerce, home and work. You're out in the non-home scary world but then surprise you're also in a cozy living room with adorable kittens running around? Madness. What is what? Everything is permitted.
Also, do the cats stay there all night after the place closes? Do they live at work? I mean, what do you do; you have one at work and one at home? That seems creepy. You have cats in shifts? Work-cat clocks in, home-cat clocks out. What if they find out about each other? Jealousy.
I took this photo at night through the window of a safe-store. I think it's a safe-store. Anyway, there was a cat sleeping in there, and it looked like he broke into a safe. And then fell asleep.
It's even better when cats have a job. I want to hire a cat as my agent...
"Mr. Sniffles, did you get me that job on the new Spike Lee film? Oh hi, Alex, sorry it took so long to get back to you, I've been in LA for two weeks... meow"
Jerry Seinfeld - Comedian --- I've been going through this intense Seinfeld phase. I bought his book Seinlanguage, and it's SO GOOD. I'm serious. Look:
deal with that.
He's like a fucking philosopher. I can't believe he's so widely popular because he's soooo Jewish. People like Jews? I have a theory that he taps into the inner Jew of non-Jews, and they don't even know it. He literally has rednecks in Iowa eating bagels unwittingly and saying things like "Again with the cow-milking?" But the movie is a whole-nother thing. It's a documentary about him after the show Seinfeld is over, and he goes back out onto the road and tries to put together a whole new stand-up routine. Really interesting if you like comedy and stand-up comedy. You get to hear him say bad words, and also you hear Bill Cosby say "shit." So good. Plus, you see him hanging out with his wife. She's so Jewish, and I'm proud of him for not marrying some blond-shiksa-LA-bimbo. Sorry bimbos.
--- Jerry Seinfeld
I can't avoid talking about this anymore... My favorite thing in the world is when you go to some business and a cat lives there. This usually happens at places like book stores, but in Seattle it seems to happen in all kinds of places. Why is it so good? I think it's because it blurs the line between the worlds of commerce and non-commerce, home and work. You're out in the non-home scary world but then surprise you're also in a cozy living room with adorable kittens running around? Madness. What is what? Everything is permitted.
Also, do the cats stay there all night after the place closes? Do they live at work? I mean, what do you do; you have one at work and one at home? That seems creepy. You have cats in shifts? Work-cat clocks in, home-cat clocks out. What if they find out about each other? Jealousy.
I took this photo at night through the window of a safe-store. I think it's a safe-store. Anyway, there was a cat sleeping in there, and it looked like he broke into a safe. And then fell asleep.
It's even better when cats have a job. I want to hire a cat as my agent...
"Mr. Sniffles, did you get me that job on the new Spike Lee film? Oh hi, Alex, sorry it took so long to get back to you, I've been in LA for two weeks... meow"
Jerry Seinfeld - Comedian --- I've been going through this intense Seinfeld phase. I bought his book Seinlanguage, and it's SO GOOD. I'm serious. Look:
deal with that.
He's like a fucking philosopher. I can't believe he's so widely popular because he's soooo Jewish. People like Jews? I have a theory that he taps into the inner Jew of non-Jews, and they don't even know it. He literally has rednecks in Iowa eating bagels unwittingly and saying things like "Again with the cow-milking?" But the movie is a whole-nother thing. It's a documentary about him after the show Seinfeld is over, and he goes back out onto the road and tries to put together a whole new stand-up routine. Really interesting if you like comedy and stand-up comedy. You get to hear him say bad words, and also you hear Bill Cosby say "shit." So good. Plus, you see him hanging out with his wife. She's so Jewish, and I'm proud of him for not marrying some blond-shiksa-LA-bimbo. Sorry bimbos.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
there's some problems...
"You are now admiring my beauty, which has overwhelmed many a woman, but sooner or later, you'll regret ever having given your love to me, for you do not know my soul." --- Maldoror
end of the world photo series: Seattle edition.
OK. this one isn't too bad. It has a sort of 3rd-world vibe that makes it pretty acceptable. Earth mother, I can dig it. Mother and Child Reunion, brother.
Then you have this little guy. I see these fucking dads walking around Seattle with their coffee, and their dogs, and they have baby-childs strapped to their fucking chests with crazy holsters and straps. "Having a child shouldn't get in the way of my normal routine." First of all sir, you literally have no balls left. I mean I'm like half-gay, but compared to these guys I'm essentially the eQuivalent of 5 million beer cans being crushed onto my own head forever on a loop in slow motion. You have NO DIGNITY SIR.
this is called the babybjörn or something. there is a lot of Scandinavian influence in Seattle. A good and bad thing. There is a horrible tendency amongst yuppies in general to get boners over anything from Sweden right? cars, furniture, etc. this is just that taken to its logical pussy-whipped Apocalyptic end. This guy really gets to me. He's a peach.
Ok I just found this while I was looking for the other photos. Did I miss this before? This has to be a joke? You people are getting OUT OF CONTROL. You have baby growing out of your chest? Lady, come on, please come on. Get on board with us. You're on the wrong train. You're going the wrong way. Where are you going? You're slipping away into a bad place.Bye, she's gone.
Stone --- Australian biker movie. Good. Duh. There is a part where this guy in an eye patch invokes satan which is the best thing i've seen in a while. it's at 0:55 in the trailer.
this movie reminded me of the simple joy of a 2 wheeled motor thing. I definitely need a pre-midlife-crisis motor bike. not necessarily a motorcycle but i need 2 wheels plus engine. i dont know why its so good, but it taps you in directly to the power of god. i can't explain it.
end of the world photo series: Seattle edition.
OK. this one isn't too bad. It has a sort of 3rd-world vibe that makes it pretty acceptable. Earth mother, I can dig it. Mother and Child Reunion, brother.
Then you have this little guy. I see these fucking dads walking around Seattle with their coffee, and their dogs, and they have baby-childs strapped to their fucking chests with crazy holsters and straps. "Having a child shouldn't get in the way of my normal routine." First of all sir, you literally have no balls left. I mean I'm like half-gay, but compared to these guys I'm essentially the eQuivalent of 5 million beer cans being crushed onto my own head forever on a loop in slow motion. You have NO DIGNITY SIR.
this is called the babybjörn or something. there is a lot of Scandinavian influence in Seattle. A good and bad thing. There is a horrible tendency amongst yuppies in general to get boners over anything from Sweden right? cars, furniture, etc. this is just that taken to its logical pussy-whipped Apocalyptic end. This guy really gets to me. He's a peach.
Ok I just found this while I was looking for the other photos. Did I miss this before? This has to be a joke? You people are getting OUT OF CONTROL. You have baby growing out of your chest? Lady, come on, please come on. Get on board with us. You're on the wrong train. You're going the wrong way. Where are you going? You're slipping away into a bad place.Bye, she's gone.
Stone --- Australian biker movie. Good. Duh. There is a part where this guy in an eye patch invokes satan which is the best thing i've seen in a while. it's at 0:55 in the trailer.
this movie reminded me of the simple joy of a 2 wheeled motor thing. I definitely need a pre-midlife-crisis motor bike. not necessarily a motorcycle but i need 2 wheels plus engine. i dont know why its so good, but it taps you in directly to the power of god. i can't explain it.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Fuck Indie Movies' Butts
If I see one more doodle-drawing fucking sQuiggly gay trailer for an indie movie about a wacky misfit who finds love I'm going to punch Dave Eggers in the cunt. Dave Eggers has a cunt and he is his own cunt. It's complex.
2 kinds of people in the world:
2 kinds of people in the world:
Saturday, July 25, 2009
When I retire to Maine to write my memoirs
"I am the Author of certain memoirs"
--Anonymous
The secret to writing your memoirs is that you don't ever have to actually write your memoirs. If you come up with some good titles you are 99% there. You can make yourself sound really distinguished with the proper title...
I Figured Out Where Jesus Was Hiding: The Alex Daboub Story
Don't Forget to Floss: The Alex Daboub Story
I didn't know I had a Cousin: The Alex Daboub Story
You see what I mean?: The Alex Daboub Story
You see what I mean? You can write anything. It has weight when it's memoirs.
Under the Volcano --- Again I watched this. This time because I'm so far from Mexico and I miss the little guy. Good movie; drinking yourself to death never looked so good.
--Anonymous
The secret to writing your memoirs is that you don't ever have to actually write your memoirs. If you come up with some good titles you are 99% there. You can make yourself sound really distinguished with the proper title...
I Figured Out Where Jesus Was Hiding: The Alex Daboub Story
Don't Forget to Floss: The Alex Daboub Story
I didn't know I had a Cousin: The Alex Daboub Story
You see what I mean?: The Alex Daboub Story
You see what I mean? You can write anything. It has weight when it's memoirs.
Under the Volcano --- Again I watched this. This time because I'm so far from Mexico and I miss the little guy. Good movie; drinking yourself to death never looked so good.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
False Daboubs
"This is the real Daboub"
--Daboub
You can tell the real Daboub by his fur. Scientists have recently noticed that false Daboub sightings can be avoided by noting the differences in fur-color between individuals. Daboubs are basically tawny colored animals, but false-Daboubs have spots that fade as they grow.
--Daboub
You can tell the real Daboub by his fur. Scientists have recently noticed that false Daboub sightings can be avoided by noting the differences in fur-color between individuals. Daboubs are basically tawny colored animals, but false-Daboubs have spots that fade as they grow.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Twin Peaks
"Don't mix the compost with the recycling"
---The Governor
I saw the Twin Peaks Waterfall, and I had coffee at the Twin Peaks diner place. Bob tried to rape me. He's silly! There were old people there. I bought a Twin Peaks map for 2 dollars from a high school student. It was basically written in crayon and had no relationship to the Earth- realm. I saw some stuff. It's paradise here: I'm rich, there's candy everywhere, fruit is freeeeeeeee, China town exists, I play Galaga. Water is wet.
The Space Needle is ubiQuitous and all powerful in this city. It is a looming nightmare that haunts every resident of Seattle. It is somehow around every corner, visible from every window in your house, underwater sometimes, and isn't properly adjusted for distance or perspective. I'm scared of it, and I think everyone else is too. It has Occult properties that I haven't come to terms with yet.
Frasier --- I OD'ed on the PNW at the moment I was drinking coffee and watching Frasier in Seattle. All the characters are introduced within the first 30 seconds of the pilot. It's brilliant. I have no idea what to say about Frasier. He's the doctah.
---The Governor
I saw the Twin Peaks Waterfall, and I had coffee at the Twin Peaks diner place. Bob tried to rape me. He's silly! There were old people there. I bought a Twin Peaks map for 2 dollars from a high school student. It was basically written in crayon and had no relationship to the Earth- realm. I saw some stuff. It's paradise here: I'm rich, there's candy everywhere, fruit is freeeeeeeee, China town exists, I play Galaga. Water is wet.
The Space Needle is ubiQuitous and all powerful in this city. It is a looming nightmare that haunts every resident of Seattle. It is somehow around every corner, visible from every window in your house, underwater sometimes, and isn't properly adjusted for distance or perspective. I'm scared of it, and I think everyone else is too. It has Occult properties that I haven't come to terms with yet.
Frasier --- I OD'ed on the PNW at the moment I was drinking coffee and watching Frasier in Seattle. All the characters are introduced within the first 30 seconds of the pilot. It's brilliant. I have no idea what to say about Frasier. He's the doctah.
Monday, June 29, 2009
I ate Glass?
"I ate glass"
---Alex "Bolo" Daboub
I haven't written in forever. I think I'm brain dead. All I think about is money and jobs and getting jobs and whether I have too much time to think about jobs.
Cooked some noodles. I bought this dubious paste from an Asian grocery store named "black bean chili." Andrew told me to. I cooked a recipe he gave me that involves noodles and shrimp and vegetables. So I cooked it, and it tasted really great, but I wasn't banking on biting into literal GLASS. There are pieces of ground up glass in it. No jokez. I blame the black bean chili paste because it's from China, and China is mostly glass. Fuck you China! Cheenore. First Tiananmen SQuare and now this. You're really blowing it.
F.T.W.
The Decline of Western Civilization Part 2: The Metal Years --- Obviously good. Why even ask? L.A. is sleazy. L.A. used to be more sleazy by a factor that is incalculable. This movie is about hair-metal dudes. It's the bottom of the barrel of culture. It's just like The Decline of Civiliztion Part 1 but no one ever says anything funny or smart. (except Lemmy from Motorhead)
---Alex "Bolo" Daboub
I haven't written in forever. I think I'm brain dead. All I think about is money and jobs and getting jobs and whether I have too much time to think about jobs.
Cooked some noodles. I bought this dubious paste from an Asian grocery store named "black bean chili." Andrew told me to. I cooked a recipe he gave me that involves noodles and shrimp and vegetables. So I cooked it, and it tasted really great, but I wasn't banking on biting into literal GLASS. There are pieces of ground up glass in it. No jokez. I blame the black bean chili paste because it's from China, and China is mostly glass. Fuck you China! Cheenore. First Tiananmen SQuare and now this. You're really blowing it.
F.T.W.
The Decline of Western Civilization Part 2: The Metal Years --- Obviously good. Why even ask? L.A. is sleazy. L.A. used to be more sleazy by a factor that is incalculable. This movie is about hair-metal dudes. It's the bottom of the barrel of culture. It's just like The Decline of Civiliztion Part 1 but no one ever says anything funny or smart. (except Lemmy from Motorhead)
Thursday, June 18, 2009
More About What Southern Blacks Eat
“Cannabis is the Divine Inheritance given to all people by Mother Earth so that we may unlock the mystery of the many and varied messages of the Pure One”
--- uhhhhhh,I don't know. John F. Kennedy??
I'm here to talk to you about polk salad, aka poke, pokebush, pokeberry, pokeroot, polk salat, polk sallet, pokeberry, or inkberry. Jesus, stop naming it already. Of course, this is another thing Andrew told me about. This should just be his blag and not my blagh. In any case, the pokweed is an herb which grows in the southern United States, ya heard me. It contains deadly poison. Back in the olden days black folks and southerens didn't have too much to eat. Somehow they figured out that if you boiled pokeweed like a million times it removed enough of the deathpoison that they could choke it down. They decided to call it polk salad and poke and about 500 other names. Isn't that bonkers? Some people decided that it had medicinal properties, and I totally agree. Also, the fucking United States Declaration of Independence was written in pokeweed-berry-juice-ink, so show some respect. Jesus. It's called wikipedia, deal with it.
Oh, and this too:
90210 --- Brandon, that fucking cad, of course tries to have ANOTHER romance with an inappropriate chick. This time it's a woman of undetermined middle-age who turns out to be dating a married sports promoter. Oh Brandon, when will you ever learn? As usual, if he would have listened to Dylan's cryptic advice about her, he could have saved himself a lot of gay-heartbreak. Just start listening to Dylan, idiot. He's like a surfing Confucius with a sports car. Dylan, in an occult death-pact with Allah, surfs too close to the sun and nearly bites it. He ends up with broken ribs, hanging out in his gay pajamas, and in Brenda's house because Mrs. Walsh feels sorry for him. I mean, he's practically a bastard-child. Most mystics are. What's happening to me?
Whatever Works --- Uh, I just heard that Larry David is the star of the new Woody Allen movie. This could be the defining cultural moment of my life or a total disaster. I'm sceeeered.
--- uhhhhhh,I don't know. John F. Kennedy??
I'm here to talk to you about polk salad, aka poke, pokebush, pokeberry, pokeroot, polk salat, polk sallet, pokeberry, or inkberry. Jesus, stop naming it already. Of course, this is another thing Andrew told me about. This should just be his blag and not my blagh. In any case, the pokweed is an herb which grows in the southern United States, ya heard me. It contains deadly poison. Back in the olden days black folks and southerens didn't have too much to eat. Somehow they figured out that if you boiled pokeweed like a million times it removed enough of the deathpoison that they could choke it down. They decided to call it polk salad and poke and about 500 other names. Isn't that bonkers? Some people decided that it had medicinal properties, and I totally agree. Also, the fucking United States Declaration of Independence was written in pokeweed-berry-juice-ink, so show some respect. Jesus. It's called wikipedia, deal with it.
Oh, and this too:
90210 --- Brandon, that fucking cad, of course tries to have ANOTHER romance with an inappropriate chick. This time it's a woman of undetermined middle-age who turns out to be dating a married sports promoter. Oh Brandon, when will you ever learn? As usual, if he would have listened to Dylan's cryptic advice about her, he could have saved himself a lot of gay-heartbreak. Just start listening to Dylan, idiot. He's like a surfing Confucius with a sports car. Dylan, in an occult death-pact with Allah, surfs too close to the sun and nearly bites it. He ends up with broken ribs, hanging out in his gay pajamas, and in Brenda's house because Mrs. Walsh feels sorry for him. I mean, he's practically a bastard-child. Most mystics are. What's happening to me?
Whatever Works --- Uh, I just heard that Larry David is the star of the new Woody Allen movie. This could be the defining cultural moment of my life or a total disaster. I'm sceeeered.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Some Things to Think About
"Haile Selassie I, the former, and final, Emporer of Ethiopia is the incarnation of God, called Jah or Jah Rastafari"
--- My Mom
Black folks often will say "Ya heard me?!" in New Orleans after a sentence. Like, "I want to eat some rice, ya heard me!?" It's the eQuivalent of white folks who say, " I want to eat some seaweed, ya know what I mean?!" Which brings me to another point: black folks eat rice. I heard southern blacks eat a lot of rice. For some reason this really surprises me. I just can't imagine it. So, are black people in the South the new Asians? Then what are Southern Asians eating? Do they eat carrots? Who eats carrots? What do carrots eat?
I live on the 2nd story of this house in Seattle. There's a lot of weirdos who pass under my windows all day. Most of them wear little skateboards as a hat and obscure their faces with peanut butter. Some of the bigger ones are making toast to pay off their student loans.
Dixie Dynamite --- Warren Oates is this drunk guy who races motorcycles for money. His friend makes moonshine all day and has two sexpot southern daughters who run around in little shorts and pigtails. All pretty straightforward so far, right? So the man comes down on the father and kills him in a shootout involving the feds. Uh, then a bunch of other shit happens to the daughters until they get pushed OVER THE EDGE, son. At that point, they steal a couple of motorcycles and a bunch of dynamite, and they go on a Bonnie and Bonnie style crime spree across the South blowing shit up with the dynamite. Can you imagine a better plot for a movie than that? And then Oates is like, "Fuck The World."
--- My Mom
Black folks often will say "Ya heard me?!" in New Orleans after a sentence. Like, "I want to eat some rice, ya heard me!?" It's the eQuivalent of white folks who say, " I want to eat some seaweed, ya know what I mean?!" Which brings me to another point: black folks eat rice. I heard southern blacks eat a lot of rice. For some reason this really surprises me. I just can't imagine it. So, are black people in the South the new Asians? Then what are Southern Asians eating? Do they eat carrots? Who eats carrots? What do carrots eat?
I live on the 2nd story of this house in Seattle. There's a lot of weirdos who pass under my windows all day. Most of them wear little skateboards as a hat and obscure their faces with peanut butter. Some of the bigger ones are making toast to pay off their student loans.
Dixie Dynamite --- Warren Oates is this drunk guy who races motorcycles for money. His friend makes moonshine all day and has two sexpot southern daughters who run around in little shorts and pigtails. All pretty straightforward so far, right? So the man comes down on the father and kills him in a shootout involving the feds. Uh, then a bunch of other shit happens to the daughters until they get pushed OVER THE EDGE, son. At that point, they steal a couple of motorcycles and a bunch of dynamite, and they go on a Bonnie and Bonnie style crime spree across the South blowing shit up with the dynamite. Can you imagine a better plot for a movie than that? And then Oates is like, "Fuck The World."
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Head North West pt. 2
Redwoods. Northern California. Taken by a wood nymph.
There was a lot of this.
My only friend. Going 80 and taking a picture is hard.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
