Cats with Jobs

"All plans between men are tentative."
--- Jerry Seinfeld


I can't avoid talking about this anymore... My favorite thing in the world is when you go to some business and a cat lives there. This usually happens at places like book stores, but in Seattle it seems to happen in all kinds of places. Why is it so good? I think it's because it blurs the line between the worlds of commerce and non-commerce, home and work. You're out in the non-home scary world but then surprise you're also in a cozy living room with adorable kittens running around? Madness. What is what? Everything is permitted.
Also, do the cats stay there all night after the place closes? Do they live at work? I mean, what do you do; you have one at work and one at home? That seems creepy. You have cats in shifts? Work-cat clocks in, home-cat clocks out. What if they find out about each other? Jealousy.



I took this photo at night through the window of a safe-store. I think it's a safe-store. Anyway, there was a cat sleeping in there, and it looked like he broke into a safe. And then fell asleep.





It's even better when cats have a job. I want to hire a cat as my agent...


"Mr. Sniffles, did you get me that job on the new Spike Lee film? Oh hi, Alex, sorry it took so long to get back to you, I've been in LA for two weeks... meow"








Jerry Seinfeld - Comedian --- I've been going through this intense Seinfeld phase. I bought his book Seinlanguage, and it's SO GOOD. I'm serious. Look:




deal with that.







He's like a fucking philosopher. I can't believe he's so widely popular because he's soooo Jewish. People like Jews? I have a theory that he taps into the inner Jew of non-Jews, and they don't even know it. He literally has rednecks in Iowa eating bagels unwittingly and saying things like "Again with the cow-milking?" But the movie is a whole-nother thing. It's a documentary about him after the show Seinfeld is over, and he goes back out onto the road and tries to put together a whole new stand-up routine. Really interesting if you like comedy and stand-up comedy. You get to hear him say bad words, and also you hear Bill Cosby say "shit." So good. Plus, you see him hanging out with his wife. She's so Jewish, and I'm proud of him for not marrying some blond-shiksa-LA-bimbo. Sorry bimbos.

there's some problems...

"You are now admiring my beauty, which has overwhelmed many a woman, but sooner or later, you'll regret ever having given your love to me, for you do not know my soul." --- Maldoror



end of the world photo series: Seattle edition.






OK. this one isn't too bad. It has a sort of 3rd-world vibe that makes it pretty acceptable. Earth mother, I can dig it. Mother and Child Reunion, brother.










Then you have this little guy. I see these fucking dads walking around Seattle with their coffee, and their dogs, and they have baby-childs strapped to their fucking chests with crazy holsters and straps. "Having a child shouldn't get in the way of my normal routine." First of all sir, you literally have no balls left. I mean I'm like half-gay, but compared to these guys I'm essentially the eQuivalent of 5 million beer cans being crushed onto my own head forever on a loop in slow motion. You have NO DIGNITY SIR.








this is called the babybjörn or something. there is a lot of Scandinavian influence in Seattle. A good and bad thing. There is a horrible tendency amongst yuppies in general to get boners over anything from Sweden right? cars, furniture, etc. this is just that taken to its logical pussy-whipped Apocalyptic end. This guy really gets to me. He's a peach.










Ok I just found this while I was looking for the other photos. Did I miss this before? This has to be a joke? You people are getting OUT OF CONTROL. You have baby growing out of your chest? Lady, come on, please come on. Get on board with us. You're on the wrong train. You're going the wrong way. Where are you going? You're slipping away into a bad place.Bye, she's gone.














Stone --- Australian biker movie. Good. Duh. There is a part where this guy in an eye patch invokes satan which is the best thing i've seen in a while. it's at 0:55 in the trailer.

this movie reminded me of the simple joy of a 2 wheeled motor thing. I definitely need a pre-midlife-crisis motor bike. not necessarily a motorcycle but i need 2 wheels plus engine. i dont know why its so good, but it taps you in directly to the power of god. i can't explain it.