Monday, March 30, 2009

I like Racial Humor and the End of the World

"Psychedelic long-haired mutant-jissomed peace leftists will consort with known dope fiends, spilling out onto the sidewalks in pornape disarray each afternoon....Two-hundred thirty rebel cocksmen under secret vows are on a 24-hour alert to get the pants of the daughters and wifes and kept women of the convention delegates."
---some yippie pamphlet regarding the Democratic National Convention


Today is just going to be a list of things I like or might like:
---Continued spending money on my credit card. It's just a Discover card so every time I walk in to a business, I have to say "do you take Discover?" It's annoying.

---I realized today that all of my favorite things involve the Apocalypse. The good old cleansing fire sweeping over the world. I think we had a fair shot, and we blew it. Let's give fire a chance. I think civilization reached it's high-water mark during the late 19th-early 20th century. You know, like when it was still possible to be a gentleman and not have to drive a hummer and date one of the Olson twins. We live in barbaric times. A man can't even have a decent opium habit or mistress without everyone losing their damn minds.

---I like the idea of race in general, not just racial humor. Race is one of the last interesting taboos we have. Everybody is secretly uptight about it, and we can't help it. I just thought I should explain why I'm always talking about Negroes and the Jews and those fun-loving Irish people and all of that.

--- I like this website about famous trials. Particularly the part where Abby Hoffman is in court. Also this overview with some funny parts.


Sunshine Cleaning --- This movie was produced by the same people who did Little Miss Sunshine. They are obviously trying to cash in on name recognition the way they do in politics. It makes me sad that people are so dumb that they will just blindly go to a movie because a word in the title vaguely reminds them of some other film experience they drunkenly ambled into. People are sooooooooo lazy about what movies they go see. Jesus Christ people, can we pull it together a little bit? They are doing the same thing by releasing that movie called Funny People. Sounds like that other movie Smart People, doesn't it? Also, they catch lazy people by releasing two movies at the same time that are about the same exact thing. In this way Mall Cop=Observe and Report, Armageddon = Deep Impact, etc. That being said, this wasn't a terrible movie. It was total Sundance bait, but not bad. It's one of those Quaint family dramas that make boring white liberals happy by reaffirming their place in the world. "Look at the cute and Quirky weirdo who just doesn't seem to fit into society. What a wacky, beautiful world we all live in." This movie isn't as bad as what lies behind it: The creeping black death of unbearable movie executives trying to recreate a former success by meticulously following a formula. This is not a proper way to produce art.
The more I think about, I am realizing that this movie was REALLY similar to Little Miss Sunshine. It has a little kid in it who is a social outcast and weirdo, it has Alan Arkin as wacky grandfather, and there is even a great deal of emphasis placed on a VAN. I think it was actually better that Little Miss... though. It reminded me a lot of a movie called You Can Count On Me.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Credit Card

"Fruit salad is Jewish"
---Lenny Bru
ce

I got a credit card. I've never had a credit card. I didn't even sign up for, so I assume they think I'm going to fuck up and get in crazy debt. Well I've got news for you, creditors, you aren't getting any of my money. Plus, everyone knows that we are approaching Mad Max world-wide scenario, and I intend to be in tons of debt when it goes down. If I'm in tons of debt when the world ends, then I win. The thing is, if I ever get REALLY bummed or get into a lot of trouble, I intend to buy a bunch of really expensive stuff with a credit card, buy a plane ticket to Thailand, and just CHIIIIIILLLLLL, son. I will be laying in an opium den, and I will only communicate with my concubine to ask her to hand me my pipe. Like this:





They'll never find me.









I bought some cowboy boots, a shirt, and some Thai Kitchen food. It felt like I was tricking them. "You're going to give me this stuff even though I have no money? Ooooooooo-kaayyyyyyyyy. I'm going to take it now, I'm walking out the door, ok?"
Finished The Purple Cloud finally. Need new book to read. I think I'm going to try either The House on the Borderland or A Voyage to Arkturus.

Freebie and the Bean - Part of my mission to watch all the interracial buddy-cop films. James Caan plays a white cop and Alan Arkin plays a Mexican (!?) cop. Actually a really funny movie for the most part. James Caan (Freebie) uses every imaginable racial slur for Hispanic people in the world for Arkin (The Bean.) It's got the reQuisite hard-ass captain who is about to take away their badges for being such loose canons. It has the crooked rich guy who has the police force in his pocket and is too powerful to arrest. This movie has so many film archetypes and cliches that it is closer to a Greek tragedy than a film. Except all the beaner talk.
















Downtown - Interracial buddy cop film starring Forest Whitaker and Anthony Edwards from ER. Super-white-man rookie cop Edwards gets assigned to the ghetto because he tried to give a ticket to yet another super-powerful, rich guy who has the police department in his pocket. Guess whether or not he's actually a mastermind behind all of the criminal activity in the Philadelphia. Anyway, Edwards gets teamed up with the veteran-cop with lazy eye, Forest Whitaker. Whitaker shockingly doesn't want to deal with an over-eager beaver kiss ass go-getter white boy, and hilarious hi jinks ensue. There is a scene involving soul-food. According to this movie, the Beach Boys are the musical embodiment of whiteness.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

KNOWING Killed My Brain

"Suck my ass, it smells" ---G.G. Allin

KNOWING
I saw Knowing last night, and it destroyed my mind. Oh my god, I wasn't ready for that movie at all. I didn't know the original screenplay was written by Richard Kelly (Donnie Darko, Southland Tales). I'm glad I didn't because then I would have expected that kind of laughable, over the top Quality he always manages to (accidentally?) capture. I mean, this movie has 100% bad acting and dialogue, and it hits you over the head with every single thing it tries to do, but I always have to respect movies that allow themselves to play out an idea to its absolute, beyond furthest outer-space logical limit. I kept thinking, OK this is a Hollywood movie, they will reign it in at the last minute and tidy it all up, and then blammmo! it shoots into infinity with 500,000 naked lady Eskimos holding hands vanishing into the distance. Ya know? It was genuinely scary at times, genuinely disturbing and brutal at times, laughably gay a lot, then pretty fucking amazing a bit too. I like it in a movie where it is almost over, and I'm still like, "what the fuck is going on?!" and "how are they going to explain all of these scary white-hair zombie/men in black suits?"

Dark City


Alex Proyas, who adapted the screenplay and directed Knowing, also wrote and directed Dark City, which features similar silently creeping, black clothed white men. All the way through the movie they are just there, having nothing to do with anything, and you have no idea why until the very end. Jennifer Connelly is pretty. There is a lot of other stuff going on in Knowing too, like a possible Mormon/white supremacy sub-text and a lot of crazy fire. I think the message of the movie was that we should give up and repopulate other planets with New Pure White Aryan babies, and that sex-education should only consist of pairing up 10 year old boys and girls and then giving them each white rabbits who will demonstrate how the sex works. WHAT?
I feel like REALLY annoyingly nerdy sci-fi fans will love this movie way too much, and reasonable sci-fi fans (me) will think that it's appropriately mind-blowing and ludicrous , and if there is still Weird Wednesday in 30 years, I hope they will show it there.






Lethal Weapon 2---I've decided to watch as many movies as I can in the genre I am calling CopRace Movies. These are buddy-cop movies where the 2 "buddies" are an interracial couple. It all started when I rented 48 Hours a few weeks ago, and then Hannah had an idea to have a Black Cop/ White Cop film series. So anyway, Lethal Weapon 2, right? It was as one would hope it to be. The best part is when Riggs (that cunt Mel Gibson)has brought the South African secretary back to his house to show us her boobs. When he takes of his trademark letter-jacket, it is revealed that he is wearing a perfect Seinfeld outfit complete with haircut. If you sQuint your eyes in that scene, you can literally believe it is Jerry Seinfeld acting in Lethal Weapon 2. They dress IDENTICALLY. It's the funnnnnnnest thing you can doooooooooooo.





Only difference between Mel Gibson and Jerry Seinfeld: belts.

Monday, March 23, 2009

The Medicine

"Did you symbolically urinate on the Pentagon, Mr. Hoffman? "
---the prosecutor



Vulcan destroyed I Love Video last night in the Alamo trivia contest thing. It was total vindication. Also, my friends went into the woods with real South American Shamans and took ayahuasca (the medicine.) My friend Andrew had a conversation with the Devil who was in the form of my ex-girlfriend. Haa! I fucking knew it! I will just put some of the conversation I had about it with my friend Jacob. Seems like the only way to properly explain:

4:42 PM Jacob: Andrew came back
from fucking Hades
he also said that he met some other "braves" in an astral lodge
some thatched hut in outer space
4:43 PM filled with warriors and future technology
luxuriating vines, etc.
me: braves?
Jacob: Indian Braves
4:44 PM ululating braves
me: jeezes



Jeezez is right "me." I sort of feel like a pussy but I don't think I'm going to try ayahuasca. I am afraid I wouldn't come back, and you would have to visit me at one of those places for people who never came back. I do like how it is not viewed as getting "high," but rather like a form of New Age therapy. My friend Alex, who has done it 3 times now, has gotten really into the power of crystals. Seems like the thing to do in one's 30's.

"The Servant" - Joseph Losey movie from 1963. It is the most British and at the same time the most 60's thing ever, even though Losey is from WISCONSIN?. Liked it, but now I'm about to go to see Nicholas Cage in "Knowing." It's going to be BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDD!

Look at this bulllshit:

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Dallas

"O wild Providence! Unfathomable madness of Heaven! that ever I should write what now I write! I will not write it..."
---M.P. Shiel from The Purple Cloud


I'm in Dallas working on a horror movie. So far it's like a teenage-ish-ensemble cast with lots of violence and gore. It's sort of like "Hostel" or "Saw" I'm assuming ( I've never seen any of those movies.) I am really disturbed by the existence of these "torture porn" movies. ( is this a real term?) I think it is proof of really disturbing things just under the surface of normal white guys' psyches. I mean these kinds of movies are really popular, and they mix naked ladies with tying people up and torturing them. Can this be good for people to watch? Sub-consciously mixing sex and violence seems like a dangerous thing to do. I think it is just indicative of what I already knew: that sQuare white guys who smoke too much weed are really creepy and fucked up. I'm staying the Hell away from them. Stay away from me white people!
The movie I'm currently working on is called "The Final." It is sort of like a Columbine influenced version of "Saw 5." All of these picked-on nerds get together and torture all of these jocks and blond chicks. So far I am surprised and dismayed by the lack of nudity. I mean, I just figured that there would be a lot of sex and nudity in the thing. It seemed like that type of affair. Basically I figured that if you assemble a cast of attractive young actors, that you would also want to gratify the creepy white man demographic with some boobies. They LOVE boobies. The marketplace demands boobs, and in these troubled financial times, who can argue with marketplace?

One interesting thing: This will mark the first time for me working on a movie where the dialogue contains the world's-worst-word and cultural-love-bomb.....NIGGER. Yow-eee. Plus, I am working in sound dept. so I actually get to record the word itself. This is a milestone in my career. I mean working in the 70's-80's they probably got to record that word all the time. Like I watched "48 Hours" the other day, and it was bandied about throughout that movie. But we live in a PC era, and so I'm excited to get to stick a mic in a guy's face and have him say "nigger." God Bless America. P.S. the character is black, so it's not Quite as crazed.

"The Unborn"- I saw this the other night with Toby at this sleazy Dallas dollar theater. The experience as a whole was pretty amazing, but the movie was pretty awful. One thing prefer about Dallas to Austin is that it has more weird sleazy stuff and weird old neighborhoods. This place was hilarious. It had the obligatory couple bringing their baby to a WILDLY inappropriate movie because they don't give a fuck, and the guy talking on his cell phone throughout the entire movie because he doesn't give a fuck. Basically, no one gives a fuck. It's liberating. As far as the movie goes, it's yet another movie ripped off from The Ring, The Grudge, etc. where a creepy little kid/ ghost-thing appears a lot and then there is fucked-up screaming face with FX and scary noises. Upside down faces, weird backwards crawling stuff. A series of rip-offs from the last 20 years of scary movies.

True Language of God

"It's said that during the Holy Roman Empire, Frederick II gave a group of infants to some nuns. He told them to take care of the children but never to speak to them. He believed the babies would eventually reveal the true language of God."
---Lane DeGregory



i'm done with working, im going to sleep now for about 15 hours i think.

guh.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

it's a thing that happened

"Even the most sumptuous of the Sultan's palaces are built in this combustible manner [out of wood], for I believe that they had a notion that stone-building was presumptuous..."
M.P. Shiel--- The Purple Cloud




today i was holding the boom pole as i discussed previously.





we were in a gym at a high school in dallas. suddenly an errant fucking pigeon appeared out of nowhere, and it lands on my boom pole. for some reason this totally threw me into a panic. i don't know why. oh, by the way there 80 high school kid extras crowded around me. ok, so i went into a wild panic, and slammed the boom pole down on this actress' head. you're not supposed to do that. she was nice about it though because there aren't supposed to be overly tame/aggressive pigeons inside of high schools who try to make friends in the middle of a scene. fuck the police?
love,
alex

TG



He looks like a demented child.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Gubba

'I, poor man, lost in this conflux of infinitudes and vortex of the world, what can become of me, my God? For dark, ah dark, is this void into which from solid ground I am now plunged a million fathoms deep, the sport of all the whirlwinds: and it were better for me to have died with the dead, and never to have seen the wrath and turbulence of the Ineffable, nor to have heard the thrilling bleakness of the winds of Eternity, when they pine, and long, and whimper, and when they vociferate and blaspheme, despair and die, which ear of man should never hear. For they mean to eat me up, I know, these Titanic darknesses: and soon like a whiff I shall pass away, and leave the world to them." ---M.P. Shiel- The Purple Cloud


I am still here in Dallas working on the movie. I usually work in the camera dept., but on this I am doing sound. I am a boom operator.


Like this guy.








I like trying to catch inanimate things making sounds by sticking the mic up to them from far away.
I found out today that potato salad produces from very little to no sound at all.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

I lied. I don't have 50 posts.

"The best form of government is no government at all, and that's what we will have when we are ready for it..."
--- Fuck You



Hi. I just realized I actually only have like 39 posts. The rest are ones that I wrote but never put on here because either they're too Queer or too good, and they would blow your dick off.

Anyway, as you know, I'm here in Dallas. In a lot of ways this is so much more of a legitimate city than Austin. I mean, I know it's really cool to hate Dallas and everything... What isn't usually discussed is the fact that those people who say they hate Dallas are all from Plano or Carolton or Rockford ( Made that last one up. It's actually called Rockwall.) The point is that these people are townies who have no idea what is going on anyway. They move to Austin and get gay little shoes and proceed to talk about how horrible Dallas and Houston are. They're wrong. Dallas and Houston are real cities. On the way home from work tonight, do yo know what I listened to? The BBC World Service at 11:00 PM. In Austin you are lucky if you get to hear that at 4AM because the rest of the day you've got some white man playing music by other white men who love the way black men play music. It's Austin so we better play 75 different songs by white ladies who are singer-songwriters. Fuck you, my son. I'm staying here.
Ah, also it was weird the BBC was talking about some drug kingpin in Mexico who Forbes Magazine estimates has a billion dollars. In the between segment banter the BBC guy said, "nice work if you can get it." What!? You can't say that! You are a newsman, idiot. I mean, that's what we are all thinking, but please sir, you have a responsibility. Dan Rather wouldn't come on the news and say, "today a bank robber got away with 500,000 dollars, the lucky bastard." what? you can't say that, fool.



I am here.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

50th post anniversary show

Hey I've had 50 posts. So to celebrate I will post videos that sum up my world view:










Zach Galifianakis is Jesus

I just wanted this on my gay-log......
Clip of a show by AD Miles and Zach that did not get picked up

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Oscars and Movies

"Who knows the end? What has risen may sink, and what has sunk may rise. Loathsomeness waits and dreams in the deep, and decay spreads over the tottering cities of men. A time will come-"
---H. P. Lovecraft- "The Call of Cthulhu"

Here is something I wrote the day after the Oscars and never pushed send or whatever:
What a fucking joke. I tied Greg for 1st in the Vulcan Oscar contest thing where you pick winners for all the categories. I got 19 right and missed 5. I watched the last 2/3 of the Oscar showie thing. God, the depths that American movies have reached. It is abysmal. They did this thing during the final credits where they show all the new movies that will be coming out in 2009. It was just all the same crap as all the other years. Animated hamsters jumping on balloons, guys shooting guns, and remakes of good movies that look like they will now be ruined forever. So, it confirmed my suspicion that they have literally given up on making good movies and have just settled into making remakes and seQuels. So I saw that they are coming out with a movie called "State of Play," and it dawned on me that they have also obviously run out of titles as well. I'm pretty sure there is an office in Hollywood where they have a hat containing a lot of little pieces of paper with a bunch of words like state, war, art, game, storm, dark, etc. So what they do is just randomly pick 2 or 3 words out of the hat and they throw them together and there they have the title to their next movie. "Art of Game" "State of War" "Dark War Time" "Time of War" "State of Play" -see that last one is real, and I know they got it from the hat.

"A Boy and His Dog"-- I've been trying to watch a lot of post-apocalyptic movies lately to prepare myself for the coming you-know-what. This is one of those cool desert dystopian future type movies like Mad Max. It has Don Johnson in one of his few movie roles, and maybe his only "good" movie role. He plays this guy who is psychically linked to his dog and they communicate with each other through ESP. It is pretty good. I mean how bad could what I just described be? It's sort of funny what an asshole Don Johnson's character is. He spends the whole movie trying to get his dog to find him a woman so he can basically rape her. The 70's were nuts.

"Splendor in the Grass"-- Another Elia Kazan movie. Really good. Warren Beatty and Natalie Wood. This is like a small town high-school drama about those 2 people being all in love and stuff. His parents are rich and want him to go to Yale and her parents want them to get married. Warren Beatty wants to do the sex but knows he can't sully a nice girl, so his Dad tells him to just find one of those other types of girls to do it with. I liked the movie a lot. I haven't seen a bad Kazan movie yet. He's cool even though he ratted out bunch of people during the McCarthy hearings. What a pussy.