"So it's basically like the same thing as Sanka?"
--- Alex Daboub moments before his death
I went into Starbucks today and they had a huge display right next to the register of their new instant coffee that they make. I didn't know about this. Is this a thing? So I was a little surprised and curious about it, and I wanted to ask the Starbucks people about it. What I hadn't realized until today was this: Starbucks employees are essentially in a crazy cult just like Macintosh employees are in a crazy cult. I made some offhand comment about Sanka, and it was just like when Paul Watkins and Brooks Poston left the Manson Family. I got the crazy murder eyes from Charlie behind the counter. Only it was like an uptight homo version of Charlie with health insurance. The cashier guy and also the "barista" guy laid into me with this creepy scripted type response about how Starbucks had come up with a new process and it was nothing like Sanka. They HATE Sanka. Don't say Sanka up in there. It sort of seemed like I was the 100th person who said it and they were really starting to get sick of it. You might be wondering why I was in Starbucks in the first place? Well, the reason is that in Seattle everything closes at like 6PM (especially in the Winter) and it was the only thing open. And also Starbucks is interesting because it's like an on-going science project where you can witness a bunch of marketing techniques as they are developed in real time. It's like peeping down into a board meeting from outer-space. Even more so in Seattle because this is where Starbucks started, and people are incredibly reverential about coffee here. Maybe Sanka's really good? Ok, bye.
Also, I just found this article, which explains everything.
Lady in a Cage --- This movie stressed me out so much but maybe it's because I watched it directly after all of this Starbucks shit went down. It's about a lady who gets trapped in her private elevator in her mansion. James Caan and a bunch of other criminals come and ruthlessly fuck with her and it's brutal. There's a lot of good melodramatic acting and cage symbolism. The prison is your mind, man.
Manson: In prison? What prison? You got a prison in your mind? You see what I'm saying? You're in prison, son. You're the one that's in jail because you think there is such a thing as a prison.
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2 comments:
Strange. No one I know who works at Starbucks takes it seriously. But, as someone who does work in a coffee shop, everyone who comes in does say the same things over and over. Sometimes I'm not as nice about it. Happy 2010. And no, Anonymous' phone will not "re-lock."
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