Cool White

"This one's for Allah, and it's going way out there, suckaaa."
----- Ahmad from The Bad News Bears (1976, duh)





















This is a special edition of The Spacemovie. This will be devoted to one man. A man named Cool White. This is a shout out bl-g and a profile of the man who is also a guy who is also a dude we know with a name...
and that name is Nathan "Cool White" Miller. The man Cool White is a man that I know, and ostensibly his name derives from some light bulb or something, but we all know the real meaning is more esoteric, more in tune with a higher language not known by men of this World. To name is to describe the essential nature and aesthetic soul of the thing. In fact, when one is near Cool White, one automatically becomes, by comparison, an Uncool shadow of themselves. They become a character named Uncool White (or Uncool Black, or Uncool Hindu, or whatever your particular race happens to be. For instance, I become Uncool Jew.)



Here, I will show you proof. Look what happened to my cup! I was casually drinking some water with Cool White, and suddenly it was all made very clear. Our cups were labeled for us by an unseen influence. Do you know who you are? I certainly know who I am now. I am UNCOOL. These words were not written by human hands, I assure you. These are the words of a higher Agency, the tenets of a higher Law. These are the dictates of The Ein Sof, the אין סוף, the Limitless One, the Unmoved Mover, the ού κινούμενον κινεῖ, and those are Judgements which cannot be challenged. Not even by Sonia Sotamayor.



Two Weeks Notice - I'm a sucker for Hugh Grant. I admit it. He's fucking charming, ok? He's like the posh, English Woody Allen. Think about it. This movie is exactly OK.

Bad News Bears (1976) - This movie rules the fucking school. First of all, I'll pretty much watch anything with Walter Matthau in it. This movie is one of the only things on the face of the Earth that could be considered "heart-warming" that I don't hate with all of my being. I'm not into anything where it says "inspiring" on the box. So it is a testament to this movie's amzingness that I find it not only heart-warming, but also "cute," and I don't to barf on it. I actually love it. It's hilarious and Burt Lancaster's son wrote it.