A. Daboub Covers Current Events

"Pirates could be seen roaming on the upper deck of this vessel with guns and rocket-propelled-grenade launchers."
---Some Officials


What's the big deal about letting U.S. car companies go out of business? It's ridiculous to give these A-holes money. American cars are the absolute worst. I hate them. They take 1 million gallons of gas per mile of driving car-driving for cars driving. Hmmmm.

Would it be so terrible to not have 5,000 Ford Tauruses everywhere you look? I think American cars are uniformly trashy, even though my Mom drives them exclusively. There is a reason for this though: it is a remnant and sort of tribute to my grandfather's policy of refusing to buy Japanese or German cars. Japanese cars were out because he loved whales, and Japan continues to fight anti-whaling laws and all of that. Plus he was around during all of that WWII stuff; whatever that was. German cars were out because he was Jewish, and there was some minor conflict between the Jews and Germans at some point in the 30's and 40's. I think it was a dispute over who likes sauerkraut more. One time my grandparents were flying to Italy, and they had a layover in Germany. My grandmother steadfastly refused to step foot on German soil and wouldn't get off the plane at all. What a hard-ass.

So I say fuck American cars. Let them go out of business. Maybe all of the factory workers can get jobs at Jamba Juice. Or maybe they can become pirates.

I heard about these Somali pirates who captured a tanker ship full of oil. Pirates! How exciting is it that there are pirates, fucking pirates, in the world in this day and age? That is so awesome. I hope they get away with it. Maybe they could just keep the oil tanker. It has like 100 tons of oil or something. I want a boat full of oil.
Wow, this is like my current events day.

"Adventures of Sherlock Holmes"--- I am watching episodes of this show, and I have decided that I'm going to read some original Sherlock Holmes stories because I never did as a kid or whenever it is you're supposed to read them. I was shocked to find out that Holmes is some crazy junkie. In the story The Sign of Four, Watson comes in and Holmes is shooting speedballs.

Sherlock Holmes took his bottle from the corner of the mantel- piece and his hypodermic syringe from its neat morocco case. With his long, white, nervous fingers he adjusted the delicate needle, and rolled back his left shirt-cuff. For some little time his eyes rested thoughtfully upon the sinewy forearm and wrist all dotted and scarred with innumerable puncture-marks. Finally he thrust the sharp point home, pressed down the tiny piston, and sank back into the velvet-lined arm-chair with a long sigh of satisfaction.

I had no idea. The show is really good so far. Greg says that besides myself there is literally no one else who rents these British mystery shows other than old ladies. I don't know how I feel about that.