Monday, October 20, 2008

These are the Jews I Know

"mirrors and copulation are abominable, because they increase the number of men."
---Jorge Borges





So today my jew friend from college Dave Cohen (cousin of gay-hero Andy Cohen of Bravo TV) came to visit from jew-florida. We ate and walked around at Whole Foods, and we talked about how we could never own a restaurant because we couldn't tolerate throwing away so much food. (That place is so overwhelming, they have like 500 of literally every food you can imagine, I can hardly go there because I just imagine all of the stuff people don't buy getting thrown away.) He told me about how when he buys like sandwich meat, he will be at work just imagining it getting older and older in his refrigerator, and he feels an overwhelming pressure to eat it all as soon as possible. What a Jew! I'm the same way though. Buying groceries is so stressful because I get it all home and immediately start trying to figure out what I have to eat first so it won't go bad. I need to make an eating schedule where it's like, "Monday: 2 bites apple, 3 spoons yogurt," and then I take the last bite of my groceries 10 seconds before it reaches its expiration date. That's excitement.
After that I went and had coffee with PJ at the Driskill, and there were fancy Austin Film Festival people everywhere. He was trying to convince me start working on a documentary project of my own, and giving me advice. Overwhelming. I need to settle on a subject. Hmmm. Butts?

I was thinking about this other Jew Sarah Silverman today. Why does she have so many of those baseball-type 3/4 sleeve shirts? She has an infinite regenerating baseball shirt machine? Is there a reason for this? Does it make your arms look longer? Shorter? Does she have odd-length arms? What the hey?


Crass Documentary --- Hell yeah, son.

"Snow Angels"-- Pretty good, although it has a lot of cheesy indie cliches and is remarkably depressing. Good snowy cinematography.

1 comment:

Me said...

jew florida = jewda = judah !