Dudes

"They don't like it when you watch their women eat" ---Alex Daboub

I saw a black cop riding a segway here, and I just felt bad for his mama. I wanted to cry for her.

Leah told me it bothered her that in Austin there are dudes named Austin, which is a thing, but what if I meet a dude here named Seattle? What could happen?





Dudes --- Jon Cryer playing a sort of unconvincing punk in the vein of Penelope Spheeris' other punk movies Suburbia and The Decline of Western Civilization. This movie starts out so strong and then sort loses it half-way through. Flea is in the 1st third, and he plays a legitamtely charming punk dude. The idea for this movie is some punks go the wild west and have to become gun fighting cowboys. It's supposed to be like a punk rock western. It doesn't Quite work somehow, although it's a really good idea. Lee Ving plays the villain, which is fun. Cryer's a homo.

Sherman Williams: Please Calm Down

We all know by now that I am reasonably assured about the Mad Max End of the World Scenario 2.0.

My friend Andrew pointed this out to me:





That's Andrew cowering in fear.






Sherman Williams is a paint company who apparently plans to literally cover the entire Earth with red paint. This seems like a really overly ambitious business model to me. What kind of megalomaniac CEO do they have over there?

"No!!!! We must cover the entire fucking Earth with paint!!!! Heil!!!! Red paint, you cowards! We must load it into canons and fire it across the ENTIRE globe!! Nothing short of a literal ocean of red paint will satisfy me!"
---- Christopher M. Connor, Vice-Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Sherman Williams Paint Co.

Seattle's Alright If You Like Subarus

New York's Alright If You Like Saxaphones --- by FEAR Song




Here's what Seattle looks like:

Bellingham, WA

"You guys look like a bunch of faggots to me."
--- Drunk Native American guy to me and 2 friends in Bellingham, Washington


This past weekend I went to Bellingham, WA to visit my friend Jacob. It's cool there. It's like a really small, super-hippie, University town with lots of weird-whites. Supposedly, a whole bunch of serial killers are from there. There are a bunch of drunk Indians on the streets and weird meth-ie kids hanging around downtown being icky. There is an awesome place where they only sell potato or beef pireogi's and the only other thing in there is a record player and tons of dollar-bin records. You can change the records as much as you want. It's cool.
Here's pictures:
this is the place. very simple.







Detail of records and record player.

Dabob Bay and other P.N.W. Things

" Mother of this unfathomable world! Favour my solemn song, for I have loved
Thee ever, and thee only..."
---Creature

There's this bay up here called Dabob Bay. I'm pretty sure that when I die I have to be buried there in a Viking funeral where they put me in a boat, push me out into Dabob bay, and then 30 tons of dynamite is detonated, and I'm buried at sea.

So, the people here are WEIRD. Every single person is some white joke in fashion glasses. It's so North Face-ie up in here. Literally every other car is a Subaru station wagon. It's starting to make me really reactionary. Like I knew even before I got here that I had to play up my Southern-ness, but I now I'm thinking I have to become a full-on, right-wing separatist. They have a statue of Lenin on the street here, which is cool, but also makes me want to own a rifle and wear a bear skin outfit on the bus. Oh, and the white people are CRAZILY breeding up here. What the fuck? Everywhere else in the world, the whites are voluntarily dying off, and the Mexican and black teens are shooting baby-lazers everywhere. Not here my friend. The whites are so incredibly self-assured that they are wildly reproducing. Ew, it's gross, but for every bad thing here, my violent opposition to homo-whiteness becomes more intense and fun. There are a lot of really cool things here too. The food seems really good, there is like every type of Asian food ever on every corner, there is Afghan food, Cuban food, every food, and lots of good hippie foods for me to eat. There's this large body of water called "The Sea." Ok, it's more like a bay, but still. Unlike Texas, the Northwest has more than 3 types of plants. In Texas, there's like 2 kinds of trees and then there's grass. That's it. And finally, all around the city there are huge looming mountains in the distance. I think it's good to have at least one impossibly huge natural phenonena where you live. It's necessary to have a sense of the infinite close at hand. Without this, we go mad. Mountains work; the ocean works; the NY skyline sort of works in a backwards way I think. I'm not sure about that one.


The Great Escape --- This is one of those old-fashioned war movies where war is portrayed as some kind of fun joke. The Nazi's send Steve McQueen to solitary confinement for 20 days? No problem, he has a baseball glove and ball. It's like Hogan's heroes or something. It's pretty fun to watch though. I officially don't hate it or something.

Sir Mix a Lot: representative of Seattle

"The Gods so loved him while he dreamed"
---Browning (Yeats?)



Sir Mix a Lot is from Seattle:


















Motherfucker uses the Space Needle as his microphone. What a hard-ass. I had this tape when I was in junior high, so everything has finally come full-circle.

AC/DC: Let There be Rock --- I'm not a huge fan of this band, but when their singer was still Bon Scott they were hilariously the most rock and roll entity that has ever existed. The man is a big drunk Australian hick with a denim vest. The extent of his song writing is to either compare himself to electricity or explosives and then tell you how hard you are about to rock.

turkey leg bone fence & ambiguous seattle sign

"Fuck this. Let's go do some crimes" ---Duke


I went out to West Texas for a job about a week before I came to Seattle. We pulled over at one point to shoot these oil wells and desert and I saw a strange thing: there was a dried out turkey or chicken foot attached to the fence. It looked like this:






















and this:














What is this? Is this voodoo? I was thinking maybe it was crazy black magic to keep people away from the oil wells? I didn't go in there because I don't want the heebie-jeeeebers. Does anyone know if I'm going to die now from looking at it?

Also: now I am in Seattle, and I saw this weird sexually ambiguous road sign. Comme ca:

What? Seattle, chill out. So apparently, this person is against people who have boobs, an arrow dick, make-up, wearing a skirt, and are carrying a tampon. Of course.








Repo Man - One of the really cool punk rock movies that remind me of being in high school. (Suburbia, Decline of Western Civilization, etc.) I really like how intensely Los Angeles this movie is. Watching it gives you such a feeling of sleazy LA-ness in the 80's. I love it. It has this weird sci-fi L.A. Quality that there are millions of secret sordid things happening just below the surface of the city, and that's what I like about L.A. It's hard to buy Emilio Estevev as a punk at first, becasue his clothes are nice and clean and pressed, but he sort of works into it. I eventually accept him as sort of one of those Marine-punks who are all clean and tough looking. He has a badass gay-little-earring in this movie.

In the Field

"Taking a close look at what's around us, there is some sort of a harmony, it is the harmony of overwhelming and collective murder." ---Werner Herzog on the Jungle

I'm in Fort Stockton, TX at the La Quinta Inn watching Bill Maher on HBO. I am here working on some shoot. We start tomorrow morning, but I still don't know what what we are shooting.

Let's see what brother Herzog has to say:




Unknown Passage - The Dead Moon Story --- Sometimes badly made but still interesting documentary about the band Dead Moon. I hate rock documentaries in general, I only sort of like this band, but I still liked this movie. Dead Moon are sort of my ultimate fantasy of what the Northwest is like. They are all hairy and shlumpy and flanneled and stuff. What makes this an interesting movie is the couple who make up 2/3 of the band Fred and Toody Cole. They have been married forever, and they built their own house, music store, ghost town, and actually manufacture their own records with some sort of ancient vinyl pressing machine that they keep in their house. The sheer energy of the man Fred Cole is what makes this a compelling movie. He is a remarkable sort of person, and its not in a super-lame "inspiring" way.

I Rode Amongst the People (spell-check remix)

My Moped, previously broken down for 2 months, crazily started tonight for no reason. I took it out amongst the people, and it was FUN, A cop guy cunt yelled at me the following, "that's a motor vehicle, obey the rules of a motor vehicle, stop!!!!" So I stayed behind a car for about 2 blocks and then burned off because they can't touch me. I'm invincible. I rode everywhere. It was insane. Black people either love or hate mopeds. They react, that's for sure. I think they were a bit jealous of my sheer mobility. The cop-cunts were, that's real, son; They know I could easily get away from them. Bwaaa!!!!!!!
Anyway, HEB accidentally made this great batch of poppy-seed bagels, that are the best ting I've ever tasted. You can tell its an accident because they are slightly burned, bigger than usual, have risen more (arisen more), are darker brown, slightly burned (perfectly), and are delicious. Fudge off ya' fucks.
Love ramble nutz.

I rode amonngst the People Drunk

My Mped, prviously broken down for 2 months, crazly started tonight for no reason. I took it out amongst the people, and it was FUN, A cop guy cunt yelled at me the following, "that's a motor vehivcle, obey the rules of a motor vehicle, nooooo stoooopppppppp" So I stsyed behind a car for about 2 blocks and then burned off becasue t hey cnat touch me on my moped. I'm ionvincible. I trode evertwehere. It was insane. Black peple leither love or hate mopeds. They react, thats for sure. I thinkt hey were a bit jealous of my sheer mobilirt. Th ecop-cunts were, thats for sure ;They knoew I could Eeaaaaasssssilyyy get away from them.. Bwaaa. Ny way, HEB accidentlly made this great batch of poppy-seed bagels, that are the best ting iVe ever tasted. You can teelll its an accindent baecause they are slightly burened, bugger htan usual, have risen more, aare darjer brown, slightly burned?, and are delicious1. Fudge off ya fucks,. l
LOve ramble nutz.

51st Post Anniversary Show

Greg showed me this, so it's not my fault:





And then the blessed Jesus of music videos:



Check out 1:50. It's called EDITING.


Monsters Vs. Aliens --- Laaaaaaaaaaaammeeeee. I walked out to make a phone call in the middle for like 15 minutes. Toby made me go, and wouldn't tell me what we were seeing until we got to the theater. It was real boring and dumb, but it did awesomely have a Wilhelm Scream in it.

Wilhelm Scream

I was Born a Ramblin' Man

"The Man From Mars" costume is on permanent display at the San Gabriel Police Department.
Here is a song about him:
Forest Ray Colson - The Hex Dispensers